i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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