She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I forget how to act sober
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
