just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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