can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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