Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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