I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize