Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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