I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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