Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
