See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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