It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
