Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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