My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize