I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
