Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
