i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
