yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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