my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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