He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
