We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
