it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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