Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
