Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
