I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
