a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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