I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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