rhymes with "ouble enetration"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize