May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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