God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
His hands were made for my vagina.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
