I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
