It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm always down for nudity.
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