We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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