I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
