Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
