i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
