i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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