can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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