is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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