She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
