so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
