Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So many bounce houses so little time
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
