You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize