I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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