so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
