best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
