Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
