I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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