One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
