She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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