And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
