I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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