The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
