Cold hands, warm shart.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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