check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
