Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
