i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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