you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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