Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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