you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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